Dirty talking can be a simple and fun addition to your repertoire of sexual tricks. However, while some women may take to it like a duck to water, you may have found your self still stuck on dry land; struggling to get over your fears and jump in.
It may come naturally and easy to you. Or you may need to take some time getting used to the idea.
If you are having trouble, take a reality check:
Does the thought of dirty talking fill you with apprehension? If so, you need to sit back and view the scene clearly. Where does the fear come from?
Is it because you want to do it, but are not sure what your boyfriend’s reactions will be?
Is it that both you and your partner want to do it, but you are struggling with your inhibitions?
Or is it that HE wants you to do it, but you are not comfortable with the idea?
Figure out if you really want to do it:
Being sexually adventurous has to come from within you. If you are being forced into it because of what your partner wants, you will feel very unsure of what you are doing.
You might come to resent being burdened with something you are not comfortable with. You might even loose confidence if you feel you are not able to match up to his expectations.
So make sure you are happy with what you are doing before you go ahead.
Getting used to the idea first, helps:
Perhaps your boyfriend wants to dirty talk and you are curious about it? One way to get over your reluctance to start is to read as much as you can about it. Familiarize yourself with the idea.
Once you are used to it, you might find it surprisingly easy to start. And once you start, you will definitely be surprised at how liberating and enjoyable dirty talking can be.
Find out more about talking dirty:
So where can you get tips and advice on talking dirty?
Try online information. If you browse through relationship self help sites, you will find dirty talking listed as one of the top ways to bring excitement back into your love life. You will find all the information you need easily and without any trouble.
Watch a few adult movies. Approach this step with caution though. Most of these are meant for instant male gratification. Highly exaggerated scenes might turn you off or make the prospect of dirty talking seem even more intimidating.
Try an erotic novel. This is a method I can highly recommend. Women often find the written word more erotic than in-your-face Technicolor because they can use their imagination more. You will find it easier to pick up words, phrases or even entire scenarios from a good book.
Talk to your friends. But remember, one size does not fit all! The list of “dos” and “don’ts” your friends give you may or may not suit you. Just keep the relevant points in mind and remember they are only generalizations.
4 Simple tips to keep in mind:
Whether you decide to dirty talk or not, should depend on only your own attitude and flexibility. If you do decide to try it out, do keep these points in mind:
1. Do what suits you the best; always be natural. Trying to force a role on your self will not work in your favor.
2. Use the kind of language that you are comfortable with. Even simple English can be used sensuously. You can move into more explicit words when you feel more adventurous about dirty talking.
3. Agree with your partner before hand, not to laugh at each other if someone slips up, or if it doesn’t work out. Humiliating or degrading one another is not acceptable under any circumstances.
4. Make it a joyful activity. Laugh, giggle, whisper and enjoy yourselves.
Dirty talking is not rocket science. It is something that can grow on you if you are open to it. And once you start, you will be amazed at the possibilities that open up in your relationship.